Regrets ?

Today's blog is dedicated to my friend, Helena and her family. Helena's dad passed away peacefully yesterday morning (15 Apr 2008). I went to pay my last respect to her dad at her home just now. The wake was held since yesterday and the actual funeral will be held this Sunday. I'm not very close to Helena and family but I knew Helena since uni days. Because of her I got to know my close buddy, Ming Yenn. Helena is also Ming Yenn's sister in law. Ming Yenn does talk about Helena and her family a lot and I was also invited to their wedding about 2 years back. That was my first time and last time saw Helena's dad. Though we aren't close but I could feel the warmth in their family. The whole family gives me the impression that they are so close and united and the love among them is remarkable. I truly respect them as they have set great examples to many out there that family is above everything else.

Yes, i admit that i have not been very close to family members. Among all my siblings, I'm also an attention seeker as I always thought i'm not important in the family and feel neglected. Frankly speaking I'm not. It's because i have been very independent and never create any problems or troubles for my parents to worry about me. It's because they have so much faith in me and indirectly give me less attention compared to my other 3 siblings but that doesn't mean they don't love me. I hate my rebel ! I realise that if i don't stop rebelling, i will definitely regret one day as my parents are getting old and may not have many more years to be around.....sigh....i seriously hate myself for this. Mum and Dad, I promise you all that I will be good from now on. Though i never express it out but in my heart, I do care a lot about you both ! In my everyday's prayers, I pray that both of you will live forever and ever to see us become the persons you all want us to be.

I miss Angelina, my white teddy bear! Where are you? I have not seen you since last Sunday night. I know you are safe and sound but I hope one day you will come back home. In the meantime, please do take care of yourself. Always remember that mummy loves you OK ? muaks.

Fon